diff --git a/scripts/backup.sh b/scripts/backup.sh
new file mode 100755
index 0000000..50a2f83
--- /dev/null
+++ b/scripts/backup.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,42 @@
+#!/bin/bash
+
+# exit when any step fails
+set -euo pipefail
+
+# default paths
+MASTODON_ROOT=/home/mastodon
+
+if [ "$(systemctl is-active mastodon-web.service)" = "active" ]
+then
+  echo "⚠️  Mastodon is currently running."
+  echo "We'll start the backup anyways, but if it's a critical one, stop all Mastodon"
+  echo "services first with 'systemctl stop mastodon-*' and run this again."
+  echo ""
+fi
+
+if [ ! -d "$MASTODON_ROOT/backups" ]
+then
+  sudo mkdir -p "$MASTODON_ROOT/backups"
+  sudo chown -R mastodon:mastodon "$MASTODON_ROOT/backups"
+fi
+
+TEMP_DIR=$(sudo -u mastodon mktemp -d)
+
+echo "Backing up Postgres..."
+sudo -u mastodon pg_dump -Fc mastodon_production -f "$TEMP_DIR/postgres.dump"
+
+echo "Backing up Redis..."
+sudo cp /var/lib/redis/dump.rdb "$TEMP_DIR/redis.rdb"
+
+echo "Backing up secrets..."
+sudo cp "$MASTODON_ROOT/live/.env.production" "$TEMP_DIR/env.production"
+
+echo "Compressing..."
+ARCHIVE_DEST="$MASTODON_ROOT/backups/$(date "+%Y.%m.%d-%H.%M.%S").tar.gz"
+sudo tar --owner=0 --group=0 -czvf "$ARCHIVE_DEST" -C "$TEMP_DIR" .
+sudo chown mastodon:mastodon "$ARCHIVE_DEST"
+
+sudo rm -rf --preserve-root "$TEMP_DIR"
+
+echo "Saved to $ARCHIVE_DEST"
+echo "🎉 done! (keep this archive safe!)"
diff --git a/scripts/weekly_cleanup.sh b/scripts/weekly_cleanup.sh
index 54c436e..0702a54 100755
--- a/scripts/weekly_cleanup.sh
+++ b/scripts/weekly_cleanup.sh
@@ -10,5 +10,3 @@ set -e
 
 tootctl media remove --days 7
 tootctl preview_cards remove --days 90
-
-curl -X GET 'https://betteruptime.com/api/v1/heartbeat/EZYUHRmbatzh4tBfTvzX22go'