diff --git a/.gitignore b/.gitignore
deleted file mode 100644
index c2658d7..0000000
--- a/.gitignore
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1 +0,0 @@
-node_modules/
diff --git a/.npmrc b/.npmrc
deleted file mode 100644
index 43c97e7..0000000
--- a/.npmrc
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1 +0,0 @@
-package-lock=false
diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
index 189e35a..ae76c47 100644
--- a/README.md
+++ b/README.md
@@ -1,26 +1,34 @@
-# [jrvs.io](https://jrvs.io/) 🔗
+# 🔗 [jrvs.io](https://jrvs.io/)
 
-Personal link shortener powered by [@kentcdodds](https://kentcdodds.com/)'s clever [`netlify-shortener`](https://github.com/kentcdodds/netlify-shortener) (but deployed on [Cloudflare Pages](https://pages.cloudflare.com/)).
+[![Netlify Status](https://api.netlify.com/api/v1/badges/6c1d7761-137b-40e8-b93a-1f6b06430e38/deploy-status)](https://app.netlify.com/sites/jrvs/deploys)
+
+Personal link shortener powered by Netlify and a caveman-esque shell script.
 
 ## Usage
 
-### View existing shortcodes:
-
-[See `_redirects`.](_redirects)
-
-### Create a new shortcode:
+### Create a new shortlink
 
 ```bash
-npm run shorten https://github.com/jakejarvis gh
+./short.sh https://github.com/jakejarvis git
 ```
 
-or:
+🪄 [https://jrvs.io/git](https://jrvs.io/git) now points to [https://github.com/jakejarvis](https://github.com/jakejarvis)!
+
+#### Shell function
+
+Adding this function to `.bashrc`, `.zshrc`, etc. lets us run `short` from anywhere.
 
 ```bash
-npm link   # run once to set up
-shorten https://github.com/jakejarvis gh
+short() {
+  # parentheses let us cd to this directory without changing our current working directory
+  ( cd <LOCAL_PATH_TO_THIS_REPO> && bash -c "./short.sh $*" )
+}
 ```
 
+### View existing shortlinks
+
+See [`src/_redirects`](src/_redirects).
+
 ## License
 
 MIT
diff --git a/_headers b/_headers
deleted file mode 100644
index 689df1b..0000000
--- a/_headers
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,5 +0,0 @@
-/*
-  X-Robots-Tag: noindex
-  Content-Security-Policy: default-src 'none';
-  Referrer-Policy: no-referrer
-  x-got-milk: 2%
diff --git a/cli.js b/cli.js
deleted file mode 100755
index 4c585cd..0000000
--- a/cli.js
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
-#!/usr/bin/env node
-require('netlify-shortener')
diff --git a/favicon.ico b/favicon.ico
deleted file mode 100644
index e69de29..0000000
diff --git a/netlify.toml b/netlify.toml
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c254e20
--- /dev/null
+++ b/netlify.toml
@@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
+[build]
+  publish = "src"
+
+[[headers]]
+  for = "/*"
+  [headers.values]
+    X-Robots-Tag = "noindex, nofollow"
+    Referrer-Policy = "no-referrer"
diff --git a/package.json b/package.json
deleted file mode 100644
index 65ea3f6..0000000
--- a/package.json
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,25 +0,0 @@
-{
-  "name": "jrvs.io",
-  "version": "1.0.0",
-  "author": "Jake Jarvis <jake@jarv.is>",
-  "description": "@jakejarvis's link shortener",
-  "homepage": "https://jrvs.io",
-  "private": true,
-  "license": "MIT",
-  "main": "cli.js",
-  "repository": {
-    "type": "git",
-    "url": "git+https://github.com/jakejarvis/jrvs.io.git"
-  },
-  "bin": {
-    "shorten": "cli.js"
-  },
-  "scripts": {
-    "shorten": "netlify-shortener",
-    "build": "mkdir dist && cp _headers _redirects robots.txt favicon.ico dist"
-  },
-  "dependencies": {},
-  "devDependencies": {
-    "netlify-shortener": "*"
-  }
-}
diff --git a/robots.txt b/robots.txt
deleted file mode 100644
index c6742d8..0000000
--- a/robots.txt
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
-User-Agent: *
-Disallow: /
diff --git a/short.sh b/short.sh
new file mode 100755
index 0000000..c900603
--- /dev/null
+++ b/short.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,28 @@
+#!/bin/bash
+
+set -e
+
+# usage: `./short.sh https://github.com/jakejarvis git`
+# inspired by https://github.com/caarlos0-graveyard/netlify-shortener-sh/blob/master/short.sh
+
+# make sure the first param is the URL since I may or may not consistently mix them up
+url="$1"
+if [[ ! "$url" =~ ^https?:// ]]; then
+  echo "First parameter must be a valid URL, dummy."
+  exit 1
+fi
+
+# generate a random 5-character path if unspecified
+code="$2"
+[[ -n "$code" ]] || code="$(openssl rand -hex 5 | head -c 5)"
+
+# prepend new shortlink to the _redirects file
+printf "/%s  %s\n%s\n" "$code" "$url" "$(cat src/_redirects)" > src/_redirects
+
+# netlify will take it from here...
+git add src/_redirects
+git commit -m "/$code -> $url"
+git push -u origin main
+
+echo ""
+echo "👍 https://jrvs.io/$code -> $url"
diff --git a/_redirects b/src/_redirects
similarity index 100%
rename from _redirects
rename to src/_redirects